Sorry I have been away!!!

I have been a mother now for almost two years and I feel that I have learned so much in this time about myself and the people around me. First to tell you about me, when I was around three years old I was hit by a car that ran a red light in a 25 mile zone area. This person tried to run and I was still under the car. Mind you the car was a yellow fire bird so it sits very low. My poor mother stood there in shock! Thank goodness my mothers friend, she chased after the car as it dragged me down the road. Well to make a long story short, I had no broken bones no head trauma that I am aware of I just got scarred from the incident and the doctors had to do a skin gafting which caused more scarring. As I turned thirty and I was pregnant with my first child I started to have flash backs about this event as I can remember some of the accident, and I was bothered by the fact that my mom didn't run after the car while it dragged me down the street. My mom has a mental impairment, she has major anxiety and cannot think, perform or focus under pressure, as well as, she handles most relationships as if she is a teenager. I know she had some issues but until the other day did I really understand she was a mentally challenged person. I decided to volunteer for the mentally disabled, to go to work with them and assist them. When I walked in the room it was over whelming and I wanted to cry. It hit home that I had dismissed my moms issues as normal and now I am feeling guilty. I too was guilty of looking at the cover of the book but not reading the story. I hadn't really seen my mom in her real form in 33 yrs, I had flash backs of the past and wondered why I dismissed this as I seen and was aware most of all of my life. Now, I am coming to terms with this and what if anything I should do about it. Only time will tell.

Have you heard about, "Sinusitis"?

About a week ago my son, who is only 22 months old, was admitted to the hospital for a week. Of course I had to stay with him during this visit 24/7. His left eye looked as though he had been in the ring with Floyd Mayweather, it was so red and swollen he could not open his eye. This scared the hell out of me. I found out it was Sinusitis,`a disease that starts in the sinuses, and in my sons case, it ended up penetrating the nasal bone and then an infection started behind the eye or in the, "Orbital". This infection," Orbital cellulitis and Orbital abscess" is behind the eye is dangerous and could result in surgery, otherwise it could cause damage to the brain or damage to your vison. Now, I am not trying to discredit doctors, but my son and I, moved from Florida, (warm weather) to Michigan(cold weather)in Nov. 2007, this is a temp change of almost 60 to 80 degrees depending on the time of year. From Nov 2007, till he was diagnosed in late January 2008 with Sinusitis, my son had a cold for two weeks and maybe a week of relief on the third week and by the four week the cold started again, mostly nasal congestion and runny nose. I took him to the doctors three times in three months and all three times the doctors told me that, "My son had a common cold, to let him ride it out, and to give him Tylenol, for any fevers". I knew something was wrong because he went through large boxes and boxes of Kleenex tissues but the doctors were not convinced. I was diagnosed with a respiratory infection on the same day my son woke up with sinusitis, my syptoms being a runny nose and some coughing. Ironically my son had the same symptoms but was not diagnosed as having an upper respiratory infection. I know that doctors dont want to treat children for a cold because of the issue about giving them cold medicine, I just think they need to listen better and maybe, just maybe read the, "New England Journal". This late diaognosis, could of cost my son a normal life, or a scar on his face, or even vison loss. I was happy we got to come home surgery free, but its not over yet he has to be on medication for another 18 days and then we have to go back for another CT scan in March.

Getting on with my life!

With all that is going on in the world right now, all the change, the economy, the weather, life in general. I find I have been changing with it. There was a time I took advantage of my life, as it was the last day of my life, and I lived out a kinda dream. I was going out to fancy resturaunts almost every night. I was going to all the night clubs drinking what ever I wanted,"for free, as well as getting in VIP. I got to go to parties with celebrities and stayed at hotels that were very expensive. I lived this life like I derserved everything I was experiencing and I wasnt going to think twice about it, and mind you I wasnt paying for it. But then one day I woke up, I realized that I wasnt who I wanted to be. I felt as though I had not done what I have always felt I was here on earth to do and that was to help people, animals, to make a change in the world. When I was little I dreampt of being a scientist, one who studies genetics and diseases, but since I was on my own very early I had to support myself and I got caught up in the bar business and in easy money it brought, well, "not to easy" I still worked for it but, I had no idea of the value of money and it felt as though the money would never stop rolling in but, it did. I got sick of the business, sick of the alcohol and the kind of life I was living. I had so much fun, I dont regret my life, I do wish I could of had better friendships from all those people who came in and out of my life during those crazy, fun and adventurous times. Sooner or later everyone is going to get on with their life. Anyway, I find that now is the right time to go forward with my life, to some how start out in small ways to bring to the world who I am on the inside instead of who I am on the outside. To find self worth is what keeps people sane and happy, wether it be a homemaker for their family, or a scientist. I appreciate some people I met that have directed me towards ideas for the future, you know who you are!!

Moving home after 16 years?

Recently, I have moved home, and found that it was nothing as I was made to believe. I had moved from Florida to Michigan to live with my father whom threw me out of the house because he didnt want to deal with me just before my sixteenth birthday. Well, that was sixteen years ago right? Wrong, seems daddy, wants to believe I am still sixteen. He tries to control my every move, picks an argument over anything just to start a conflict. I feel he should pay for back child support and verbal abuse, for the present and in the past. I have my reasons! I thought I could put his behavior of when he threw me out, behind me until I moved in with him and found that he hasnt changed, matter of fact he is worse. From day one he has lied to me about helping me start a business helping me with my son ect. I am a single mother just trying to raise a child within the family He put me in a situation I believe is harmful and disrupting, I am not sure what to do about it. I want to seek out justice, but I want to know I did the right thing. I will just probably move out ASAP!

YOU CAN BE A TWO MIN ACTIVIST

Dot have time to vote? You can sign petions and even send emails to the president and goverment officials, go to "Cogress.org, or Actionalerts@care2.com, http://www.aauw.org/takeaction/index.cfm, take time to care about you rights, because if you think that those rights won't or don't, affect you, "Your wrong. The American economy needs your activism more than ever!